Communicating with your teenager can often feel like an uphill battle. As children grow into their teen years, it’s normal for them to become more independent and want to spend less time with their parents. However, maintaining open communication during the teenage years is important for building a strong parent-child relationship. Here are some tips on how to communicate effectively with your teenager:
Listen More Than You Speak
One of the best things you can do to improve communication with your teen is to listen more than you speak. Teenagers often feel like their parents lecture them or don’t understand their perspective. When talking to your teen, make an effort to ask open-ended questions, be attentive, and let them finish expressing themselves before responding. Validation goes a long way to helping a teenager feel heard and understood.
Set Aside Quality Time
It can be hard to get one-on-one time with a busy teenager. However, setting aside quality time to spend with your teen without distractions from TV, phones, or computers makes them feel valued. Use the time to have meaningful conversations about their interests, feelings, or concerns. Let them choose fun activities you can do together occasionally as well like cooking, hiking, or visiting a museum.
Be Open and Honest
For your teenager to open up to you, it is important that you are open and honest with them as well. Be willing to share your own experiences, perspective, and advice. Admit when you don’t know the answer to something and be open to discussing difficult topics. Your teenager will learn to communicate honestly with you if you model that behaviour for them.
Pick Your Battles
Choosing which issues are worth arguing over and which can be let go is an important communication strategy. Teenagers are learning independence, so be prepared to compromise on smaller issues like fashion, hairstyles and tidiness of bedrooms. Save your energy for discussing serious safety issues like underage drinking, drug use, driving safely and sexual health.
Use Humour and Affirmation
Humour and affirmation are great tools for defusing tension and strengthening your bond with a teenager. Funny anecdotes from your own teen years, gentle teasing and laughing together helps keep communication light-hearted. Teens also respond well to frequent affirmation and praise for their accomplishments, whether big or small. Positivity and encouragement motivate them.
Choose the Right Time and Place
When trying to talk to your teen, consider timing and location. Avoid lecturing them the moment they walk in the door from school. Instead, wait until after they have unwound a bit. Similarly, private, one-on-one settings are better than attempts at conversation around their friends. Pick the right moment to improve the chances that they will engage.
Stay Calm in Conflict
It is inevitable you and your teen will sometimes disagree and become upset with each other. In these moments, do your best to stay calm and hear their side. Yelling or harsh criticism can cause a teenager to shut down. If tensions are running high, consider taking a break and returning to the issue later when emotions have settled.
Connect Through Shared Interests
Look for opportunities to bond over shared interests and activities you both enjoy. This is great advice if you are fostering siblings with Fosterplus. Maybe you can cook favourite meals together, work out at the gym, or attend a concert. Finding common ground provides easy conversation starters and reminders of your similarities.
Overall, being available, empathetic, honest and respectful in your communication makes a big difference in how receptive a teenager is. The teen years can be difficult for parents and children alike. Maintaining open communication channels helps you navigate this time and stay connected through the years ahead. With patience and compassion, you can have meaningful talks well into your child’s adolescence and adulthood.
